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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Low Cost...Again

Low cost, low budget, budgeter's manifesto, thrifty cooking, penny pinchers, put a turd in the butt way of cooking, etc. Dozens of books have been published about ways to thrifty and produce low cost, but quality food. None of which I have ever used except in this blog and if I had them, I probably would not heed their advice. Something about congealed lime gelatin molds or vienna sausages just makes me feel I can afford to spend a few extra dollars if it means trying to cook something decent.

The one thing this book, The Low Cost Cookbook, Southern Living, 1972 does not mention about saving money is to keep the husband and kids at home because when they are around, I end up spending twice what I normally do because they all have mad ninja skills about throwing things in the cart. 

My total disdain for the cumbersome and soul stealing art of grocery shopping could be used elsewhere. I could have paragraphs about it. Nobody can go to H.E.B. on a Sunday afternoon without scars being left. That's all I have to say about that. 

The Low-Cost Cookbook, Southern Living, 1972. Another mystery without a title. These books are so gosh darned intriguing.
I see what they are doing with this. I actually have to crack open the book to get the title. If only they were smart enough to maybe put what these two fine dishes are. When it comes to this type of food, they could be anything.
You, Sir, are an ass kisser. Oh maybe I figured out what my deal is. I am not a southern woman , henceforth my inability to learn the art of seasonal buying lies in my genetics and where I was born. Where is the line between proud and appreciative and condescending and snide? I think if I was called a great manager, my heart would turn to a block of ice.
This has layers. At first glance I see a lime gelatin, green shiny mold with pale shrimp surrounding and perched atop it. Second glance shows me the carved radish flowers that are placed in the mold. Then I see the celery stalk stuffed in there. What are those? Carrot curls too. Congealed Vegetable Salad with Shrimp. It's all perfect. And low cost because that's what this book is all about.
Molded Apple Bleu Cheese Salad. Just so we are all on the same page, this is lemon gelatin with bleu cheese and mayonnaise mixed into the bottom layer. Yeah, I'm going to go against the grain and spell it "bleu" instead of "blue". Because I'm sophisticated and that's how I was taught.
Mock Filet Mignon. Or if you just want to be honest, call it a hamburger patty with a slice of bacon wrapped around it. To call a hamburger a filet mignon gives the air of douchebagery and the sense that you don't know what the hell you are talking about. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Here's something you don't see every day. An upside down ham yam loaf. Blah, who would want to see this every day? Who has actually seen this before today?
Sausage Supper Squares. Yes it really is breakfast sausages pushed into a type of cornbread. If that's not thrifty then I don't know what is.
I stand corrected on what is thrifty. Bern Plate. Any recipe that has canned sauerkraut and vienna sausages in it is instantly bumped up to the "Trailer Food" rank.
Far Eastern Fresh Pole Beans. Exactly how far east are we going with this one?
Sunday Supper Ring. Oozing with cheese and brussels sprouts, noodles packed in so tight that they can come out as a successful ring. It's all about thrift, not taste. If it can put a turd in your butt, then you have been nourished.
Avocado Cream. For more than 35 years, I had blissfully and perhaps blindly accepted that I would not touch anything with avocado. Perhaps because it looks like this. I think I set my progress back a few years.
I guess that settles it. I will continue to be a piss poor manager who is not from the south and spend too much on groceries.


  1. douchebagery & If it can put a turd in your butt, then you have been nourished.

    I am laughing!

  2. I wonder if anyone's put Brussels sprouts in a mould...? A lovely shiny green one... I am fixated by that green jelly - I think it's hypnotising me.