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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Ready to talk about food again (Recipe Cards #15)

Hello!! I hope everyone had a great and safe Thanksgiving. Mine went off without a hitch. I cooked and it was not something that comes from any of my cookbooks. Though a 1970s-inspired Thanksgiving would be interesting. I don't know how well that will fly with the few friends and family we have here. I do have enough recipes and ideas. I did get an email suggesting I do a holiday theme and maybe I will in the future. I have done a few but perhaps they were premature. This post is fairly close  to the whole holiday idea and there are others. 

Okay are we all ready to eat again? Did we stuff our faces like slovenly, greedy fools? Sure, some overdid it and had the fortitude to go out afterwards and fight the pre Black Friday sales. Nothing like dealing with a bunch of people at Wal Mart after gorging on a big meal. I stayed home. The only time I ventured out was because I needed laundry detergent. I'm lucky to still be alive.

I'm going to continue the recipe card theme by going with the 1974 Weight Watchers cards. This is what we need to eat if we all want to stay trim and svelte. Yeah, no. I don't see calories on the back so I can assume they aren't slimming and trimming. 

Who would have thought lamb steaks could be savory? Douse them in what amounts to be catsup (not ketchup) and you too will reap the savory tidbits.

Marcy needs to mosey her little ass on back to the kitchen and figure out what a real "enchilada" is. Nothing served on sliced bread should be called an enchilada. That's just mean. Despite living in Texas, I am not an enchilada aficionado. I do know they aren't served on sliced bread and full of artificial sweetener. Shame to Marcy.

Mock means there is nothing with herring in this recipe. There is, however, a lot of canned tuna, cod, beets, and celeriac to give the impression of consuming herring. I'm not an expert on 1974 caloric intake because I was only around for a few months in 1974, but why go through all this trouble when herring can be used? Or just call the damn thing a mixed seafood salad?

This is interesting to look at. I will give thumbs up, props, duck lips, whatever to this lamb loaf, but I sure as hell don't want to encounter it or the person who makes it in real life. There's scary and then there is psychotic.

This sounds like it could be normal food, but who wants to chance that?

I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, but there is not a thing perfect about this. Maybe a pefect mess? A perfect idea of what isn't a pizza?

I feel like a "real merkkkhun" looking at these soups. I need a side of freedom fries to go with them or I might as well crumple my birth certificate and renounce my citizenship. Just hum "America, the Beautiful" while reading this.

Seriously? Another one? There's 19 ingredients in here. I could be inspired to include them. I wonder how soupy the four envelopes of unflavored gelatin in the recipe would make this?

This is not called "skinny cheesecake" like in my previous post. Is that allowed on a Weight Watcher's card? Ugh there's so much cottage cheese and gelatin in this thing. Not to mention the white bread crumb crust. What is the point of these cards? To laugh at a cheesecake that looks like Pac Man? Wockawockawockawocka

If I didn't know this was a legitimate recipe, I would have paragraphs of fun. Paragraphs! 

I don't want to associate sweet and pungent. When I think of the word "pungent" I think of swamp ass, old socks, armpits, crotch rot. I don't want to put it in food descriptions because even adjectives trigger my digestion.

This new pizza sauce recipe could very well change the world. It could be the start of something special. It loses all cred because it is served with slices of white bread. It looks like trailer food. Therefore, I am not even going to flip the card over to check it out. I could be missing out on something bigger than I am.
Oh how the times have changed! Frankfurters over white bread used to be skinny food. It's probably skinny food because the sauerkraut, dill pickle, hot dogs, green pepper, etc served over white bread will do a better colon cleanse than an enema.

This is maniacal. That's what this is. True insanity propped up by a crown of wieners.
The color alone makes this scary. I think I'd rather hop on the husband's uniform hanger holder/treadmill and burn a few calories than contemplate eating this.

Balls..Just balls.
If this is the case, I shall continue to eat substandard barbecued chicken. In keeping with the twisted themes, I see Weight Watchers put a ceramic chicken in the picture to give us a guide as to what this red carnage could be. Radishes and parsley were the garnish of the future.
Find me a food word that makes me cringe and chances are "piquant" is on the top of it. 

Definition of PIQUANT

: agreeably stimulating to the palate; especially : spicy
: engagingly provocative; also : having a lively arch charm 
How in the world is canned salmon on toast agreeable stimulating to the palate? Not two words that should go together. I'm cringing. Help me out of this. 
Just when you thought it was safe to think about eating again..


  1. I can't stop looking at that lamb loaf...I also had no idea hotdogs could be so classy!

    1. That lamb loaf is a work of art! I wonder how the person who made the first cut into it felt for ruining such a prize? The classy hot dogs would be rebranded as "haute dogs" in today's society. Shudder to think people would pay an arm and a leg to eat them too.

  2. WW still has "Inspiration Soup" in it's not eat it after 2 days as it tastes like cabbage water :P