This Sunday's Chosen Ones (Recipe Cards #6)

It's Sunday again. Time flies when we're having fun. It's a suspiciously cold Sunday in Texas but I'm snug and happy in a hoodie. I like this weather because it doesn't happen often down here. 

I've picked and chosen this week's best recipe cards. I'm taking the McCall's route. It's been Better Homes and Gardens and Betty Crocker overload the past few weeks. 

As long as I have a gazillion recipe cards, I have a Sunday blog post. I guess from a hypothetical standpoint, as long as I have a gazillion recipe cards, my family won't starve either. 

These are from McCall's Great American Recipe Card Collection, 1973. I wasn't around to experience this time in our culture. 

Indeed this is a memorable summer meal. I don't have the recipe card for it. This is a divider card. To be able to have shrimp pointing down in just the right way and a smattering of cherry tomatoes in lime gelatin takes art. I will have to knock a few points off for the glaringly obvious space in the middle. Surely, to make this a real memory, the shrimp should have adequate spacing. 

At least! Real looking chocolate chip cookies! Who drools at the ones on the food blogs or Pinterest? They are usually strategically placed, a few crumbs here and there, and one broken in half with the chips half melted. This is reality vs the Pinterest food porn myth. Even the hen in the background clucks with approval.

When we look back at our heritage, it's not going to be what we did or how we got there. It's going to be baked corn pudding with its chopped pimentos and thick, curdled mess.

Speaking of heritage, I don't believe the name "McCall" sparks a connection to Italian heritage. Maybe I'm projecting. Maybe I don't know Italian names despite spending three years of my life living in Italy. This looks like something that sits untouched for decades in someone's basement. People look at it but don't talk about it. The jar is just there. When the homeowner dies and the friends and family go through the belongings, this will be found. A few will remember the good memories and bad holiday meals. The question of who wants it will be asked. Nobody will speak up and it will end up in the trash or collecting dust at a thrift store.

Anybody with an inkling of food knowledge knows a tartare is basically finely chopped raw meat with some herbs and spices. This one pushes the food safety envelope with the raw egg atop. I guess if you have to live dangerously, you might as well go the distance. I am most impressed by the sour cream circle. Most..impressed..indeed.

Swing and a miss!! Looks like this Pineapple Orange Dessert Mold sat out a few minutes too long. Now it looks the color of something I squeezed out of my fat guinea pig's back today. I don't think it would smell that bad, but it looks like a pus bubble.

I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and ingest a few extra calories. I don't think bypassing the Cottage Cheese in Tomatoes and opting for something more caloric. I don't think it's going to put me over the edge and give me an extra pound or two. And if it does, so what. At least I did not have to eat this!

As if fruitcake is not creepy enough, there has to be a creepy, vacant eye doll staring in the background. 

If this isn't the most patriotic thing I've ever seen...Okay maybe not, but it's up there with disgusting. Apple-Cranberry salad is not a hit. A mix of iceberg lettuce, mayonnaise, and sour cream in the middle is highly uninspiring. But we'll just let Betsy Ross sew her ass off and get this as a reward for her labors.

Balls

Oh, Gil..What have you done to yourself? How did you find your way down this sad road as a fish model? Maybe it's just time to gather what is left of your dignity..

If this is an upside down chili pie, I don't know if I want to see the other side. 

Yes, this can be called noodles.I'm going to dispute that it is in a pesto sauce considering the first ingredient is a cup of chopped parsley followed by a tablespoon of dried basil. Pine nuts are optional. No, this cannot be a true pesto. This can find its way out of being part of an Italian heritage. It's insulting in a way. Then again, the Olive Garden is considered fancy fare in this land.

I'm hard pressed to find someone who will eat guacamole by the spoonful out of a hollowed tomato. 

Nothing like a good beef broth sipper to take your mind off what really matters in the world. You all should try it sometime. And when you do, let me know how that works out. 

And now you all can go about your Sunday. Perhaps it is better enriched knowing about guinea pig back pustules or tartare with raw egg on top of it. Maybe before you go to sleep, you can think of the fruit cake doll watching you..

U.N.T.