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Sunday, October 28, 2012

Watch the weight (Recipe Cards #8)

Greetings everybody! I hope you are having a good weekend. I waited eagerly for my next gazillion recipe cards and when they arrived, I was not disappointed! I seriously could have added the entire collection tonight but that would take hours to scan them and nobody wants to be stuck in a vintage recipe card hell. These things need to be done slowly and gradually.

The cards used today come from the 1974 Weight Watchers Recipe Card Collection. I could lose 10 pounds from looking at the cards. In fact, that's what I am going to have to do. Forget exercise and diet, I'm just going to read these nightly. I'll be slim and trim before I realize! 

Card Index. You know what else came out of 1974? Me
I think my jeans fit a little less tight after looking at this Molded Cheese Soufflé. I think this is the first soufflé that comes from a gelatin mold. New trend instead of baking it and having it collapse?  Good luck with that. I would think it's a type of cheese gelatin mold before I floated the idea around that it might be a  soufflé

We all know that chicken is versatile. To allow it to be coated with aspic shows just how versatile this chicken is. Maybe everything is coated in aspic to make it more difficult to get to when one wants to eat? That would definitely be a deterrent.

I do not know how this is refreshing. What amounts to a tomato aspic is being cubed and served as a drink. Okay, I wasn't there. I was a fetus. I am chagrined that I could very well have missed out on THE gelatin drink of the 1970s. I'm just a young whippersnapper shootin' my mouth off.
Bean and Mushroom Salad. What better way to kick someone while he or she is down than to serve this green bean and mushroom gelatin mold? We are an overweight society. I get that. THIS isn't going to help us change our eating habits!

 Has anyone ever had the desire to slice up a loaf of frozen cheese and serve it like that? I can barely handle frozen Cool Whip. I highly doubt I would be able to handle frozen cottage cheese, bleu cheese, and buttermilk with a million herbs and spices shaped into a loaf and frozen.
Fruit and cheese mold. At first glance, this looks like a typical mold. Then you look at the cottage cheese layer. But if it's going to keep me thin, then I'm going to tear into that. Slurpy slurp. Eh, maybe I will just cut Coke from my diet. If I limit the intake, I can still enjoy other foods and not have to resort to this.
Madriléne Cheese Salad. I had to look up what a madriléne is and found it to be like a tomato aspic. Not that it makes the idea of eating this sound any better. There's no sophistication in tomato aspic and cottage cheese molded. 
Asparagus. Why not. Anything and everything else has been added to these types of salad. Asparagus was feeling a little left out. Who cares if someone's bodily fluids have an off smell and taste about them after eating this. It's all about watching weight. It's punishment for those extra cookies we all shoved into our fat faces. Day of Reckoning! And we shall be served Molded Asparagus Salad as penance.
By definition this is a melon mousse. Made with cantaloupe, artifical sweetener, and a a few other ingredients,it is then molded to perfection. By a visual, it looks like a ball of phlegm I coughed up when I woke up this morning. Maybe I need to increase my fluid intake. Mucinex. Not only do you smell like it for the next week, but hack up melon mousse looking stuff.
This is spectacular! It's gross looking and befuddles imagination but to be able to wrap slices of hot dog around the core of a pineapple and try to fool people into thinking it's a pineapple? Genius.
Spinach and Egg Mold. Sure it's a shade of green that instantly renders a gelatin mold inedible. Is there an edible gelatin molded salad? This sure isn't one of them.Who actually sliced into this, smacked their lips in anticipation and lifted a fork to their face, put it in their mouths and allowed the refreshing creaminess to melt on their tongues and repeated the cycle. 
This should be a warning to all. Not only is the fish scary scary raw, but there's hidden aspic on it somewhere.
I would like to thank the two men who sacrificed their penises to make this dish possible. Apparently they are low cal and can be used in a weight watchers recipe.
 How easy can weight loss be after looking at these cards? I sure don't have an appetite.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012


When I first started this blog, I was going to every thrift store and used book store in the area in hopes of finding books. I was successful and left with a pile of them that I could not find the creative prose to make a post. I had all but written off some of these books. Cute, really. 

Even cookbooks deserve a second, sometimes third or fourth chance as indicated by the number of tags on the outside and inside cover of this book. It's been through the thrift store cycle a few times and it's probably destined to go back. Wow, I just checked the above link and I said pretty much the same thing about this book. Interesting. 

It is "Abaavo" because my daughter wanted to know what "abaavo" meant.

Woman's Day Encyclopedia of Cookery, Volume 1, 1979.

Twenty two volumes? That doesn't sound very time efficient to have to go through 22 volumes of cookery to find a recipe. I wonder if these cost a thousand dollars like the door to door encyclopedias? Guilty, don't judge. I think those are thrift store fodder in Wisconsin. At least this is brimming with tempting recipes and mouthwatering photos. Note that it is a "browsing library". Not a cookbook collection.

These recipes that are brimming from this volume need a mouthwatering photo.

Beefsteak and oysters. No, it's not filed under "aphrodisiac". It's AMERICA food. It also looks pretty raw.

Anchovy and Potato Casserole. My mouth is trying to imagine what it tastes like but my tongue keeps rejecting that idea. My eyes see an alien octopus with a very red sucker for a head.

Salute! Antipasto party. Sausage stuffed onions, baked rice stuffed tomatoes and in the center we have a cold braised stuffed breast of veal. Brimming with pisatchios, peas, corn, twice ground meat and about 20 other ingredients. All of this stands to make someone have a stinky and nutty poop.
Appetizers, napkins, yeah yeah yeah. What I am impressed with is how the curvy couch has a curvy table to match it.
Cocktail Torte. A fine torte made with pie crusts, shrimps hidden on top. In the holes are sprigs of something snipped from a bush and caviar. This is where it gets real. The filling is a mix of mayonnaise and sour cream. Anybody care for a slice?

Jellied Waldorf Salad. Because a waldorf salad is not acceptable in its free form. It must be made into a mold with lemon jello, mayonnaise, whipping cream, apples, celery. This doesn't appear to be a trend that withstood the test of time. For that I am thankful. So should all of you.
Asparagi all'uovo. Because it would be unsophisticated to just say asparagus and eggs.
Tomato Aspic. This really looks harmless compared to the other aspics I have seen in these books and cards. It's just red and shiny. There's nothing appetizing about it. I just want to poke it and see if my finger sinks into it or bounces off of it.
Avocado Lime Pie. This one is a first for me. I don't think I have seen anything like it and what has been seen cannot be unseen.

Maybe the other 21 volumes have mouth watering photos.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Foreign Flair

I lived overseas for three years. It took me months to get used to real Italian food. My untrained American palate was used to what Americans like to pass off as Italian food. Eventually I did and I would sell my soul to eat another Margherita pizza from an authentic wood fired oven in Naples. During my time abroad, I visited France and Germany. My appreciation for French food was limited to Americanized restaurants and McDonalds. Yes, I was one of THOSE American tourists, but in my defense, I did not live in the USA at the time so McDonalds was pure delight. When I went to Germany, I found the food to be hearty and pretty good. It was an experience I will never forget. 

This book is probably not based per se on actual foreign food, but the idea of foreign food. In 1963, traveling overseas was the exception rather than the norm. I'm not going to bash 1963 too much. That was the year JFK was assassinated and there was a lot going on during the 1960s.

I will, however, have fun with the food. It's fair game.

Better Homes and Gardens Meals With a Foreign Flair 1963

Starting off with a Mexican flair. It doesn't really look different from what we eat today. The sauce on the tamales is probably more of a decoration for the purpose of making this look like like someone is going to want to eat it. Unless they ate the corn husk in 1963. That could be possible. What do I know?

Maybe in 1963, one could use a cookbook as a passport.
Red-and-white salad. Basically someone took the time to mold a tomato aspic and a snowy cheese mold, slice it, and alternate tomato gelatin chunks with cream cheese and cottage cheese gelatin chunks with a generous cup of mayonnaise in the center.  A pure and simple horror of horros.

Lots going on here. Celery sticks, a spread of Herring Salad, liver pate with chunks of aspic. All of it is protected by a trio of egg penguins. The eggs didn't ask to be turned into penguins. They were perfectly content not being reanimated.

A big chunk of ham. Slice only a few pieces. That should work out for everyone. As long as it doesn't touch the Vegetable Salad cups made from mayonnaise, asparagus, peas, and carrots. Total deal breaker. I'm beginning to see the world in dulled hues after going through this book.
A sparse and sadly decorated Edible Arrangement. I bet this doesn't cost a fortune. Who doesn't like hundred dollar cantaloupe or strawberries? 

That about sums up the description for the parrot.

Because if you don't have a statue of what the meat is, nobody is going to know what they are eating. They might get it confused with a pigeon or something. Good thing they have a wicker rooster to guide them.

I don't need an abacus to count the ways that this looks inedible. It looks red, shiny, and chunky.
Food-borne illness prevention is apparently not a priority. In keeping with my usual snark, I have a lot of words for this picture.
I had all of sorts of comebacks and quips about how green this sauce isn't and how it's probably not mighty tasty after all, and how this has faded into the annals of food obscurity. And then I did a quick Google image check. I was put in my place by spaghetti with green sauce. Mighty tasty at that.
Kringle. If there is anything I miss about living in Wisconsin, it's stuffing my face with Kringle. That soldier looks like it wants to maniacally use its sword to chop anything and everything.
This German Cherry Torte would almost look good if it didn't look like an anthill.
I'm pretty sure that I won't think I am in Stockholm when I taste those delightful pancakes. I don't quite have an authentic comparison, but I'm pretty sure I won't think I am teleported to Sweden. Just saying.

That was full of flair. Foreign flair. I feel like I just hopped all over the globe, back again, and didn't even get a magnet.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Nibbles and Tidbits

It's late at night/early morning and I'm still trying to shake this horrible crud which now has the diagnosis of "Post Virus Cough". Thank you USAF doctor for telling me something that I didn't already know. The stupidest thing a doctor can ask me when walking into the exam room is "What am I doing for you tonight?" Really? I don't have an M.D. behind my last name nor do I have access to a prescription pad or diagnostic testing equipment. But what do I know?

Anyway, that's what's been going on with me. I need to update before this fades into Blogosphere Obscurity. I've worked my butt off and I'm not going to let some "Post Virus Cough" ruin that for me.

Tonight will be Snacks and Refreshments. I don't entertain and if I do, I'm most likely to have chips and salsa than hard boiled eggs and gelatin molds. Because I am such a gracious guest at the few parties I might attend, I wouldn't touch anything but chips and salsa. If I'm in a snacking mood and have taken an Ambien, I'd probably tear into some of the grub I am about to mention. I've eaten some weird things on that medicine. I only remember it when I wake up the next morning and my gluttony flashes back to me like a bad one night stand. Until now, I have never thought to make a recipe from an old cookbook while on Ambien. That would make for an interesting few days of posting. Has that been done yet? "Retro Food Made While Under the Influence of Ambien." I wouldn't dare. I will ignore the cogs that are spinning in my mind. 

Better Homes and Gardens Snacks and Refreshments, 1963. Nibbles and tidbits ring true in this picture. There will be a fight to the death for that miniscule amount of shrimp and those unnaturally green drinks. But they match the napkins and it's really all about getting the colors right. Besides, nobody wants to spoil their appetites! Gotta save room for the main course.
Braunschweiger Glace. That ought to get my appetite back again. I think of braunschweiger as that nasty stuff in the chub tube next to the hot dogs. It's very squeezable. Perhaps not as much mixed with mayonnaise and surrounded by a beef consomme gelatin mold. I'm almost mad at those crackers for whoring themselves out to the almighty braunschweiger. It's a small enough mold to drum up controvery.
This shish kebob griller holder appetizer tray table is perhaps awesome. It might not serve any other purpose except kebobs. Just be careful not to trip while blinded by the awesomeness of it all. I wonder how often something like this was used?
All fear the fluffy guacamole. Seriously. Fear it. I always thought guacamole should be chunky. Even the chickens aren't buying it. The one on the left looks mighty pissed off indeed.

The hostess of this event has some serious trust issues. What other reason would one have to have the cheese knife secured with a gold chain like it's a backwoods gas station bathroom? One would have to get past the eggs with their serpentine tongues before even attempting to run off with the knife.
I believe fried bread, mozzarella and salami with a robust cherry tomato is Italiano too. Tutto bene!
Too bad this is not in color.  I will make it my life's mission to have Tomato Soupshake on tap in my refrigerator at all time. I'm sure that will be a hit.
Enlarging food pictures is not always the best way to go. The middle pizza looks like it wants to attach itself to somebody's face and never let go. The entire picture looks like it needs to be blotted with several rolls of paper towels before it can even be considered edible. It looks like it would leave a taco grease colored oil in the toilet too.
Flapper Pudding. The caption touts it as "the cat's pajamas around 1928" and "so simple even a flapper could make it." Because flappers are too busy flapping and the cat's pajamas are the best thing since fire was discovered.
Frosted Ribbon Loaf. The refreshment of all refreshments. The snack of all snacks. The layered chopped ham and mayonnaise mix and egg salad loaf covered with a cream cheese and parsley frosting.

Those should whet the appetite. If not, I don't blame anybody.