Betty's Chafing Dish

Hello all! I know it's been a few days and probably a few days too long since my last post. Alas and have no fear, I am back. 

Betty is back too. In fact, this book has been glaring at me for the past few months. I've made sure it's been pushed back further and further in my queue of books to be used. I've made recipe cards and a refrigerator my priority. Now, I must tell Betty's Chafing Dish tale so I can retire it alongside the other Betty Crocker books that I have. 

This book doesn't try to make you want to be perfect. I don't think it wants to try at all. It wants to laugh at you as you burn the hair off your hands in a misguided Sterno accident or suffer third degree burns from a ladle full of Seafood Newburg splashing on your wrist. It wants you to lift the lid and get your eyebrows singed and your face boiled like a lobster.

For those who don't get the chafing dish idea, they used to be compact and kitschy. Now they are used more in buffet type settings. I did see a chafing dish at a thrift store but I did not get it. Maybe it would have changed the way I know food? I'll never know.

It's time...Enjoy.

Betty Crocker's Dinner in a Dish, 1965

Obligatory beginning of the book letter from the cordial Betty Crocker. Betty Crocker called me "her" friend.

Perfect Party Fare! That's why you are doing it, you harried hostess. Are there such a thing as connoisseurs of casseroles? Why does "quantity" have to be in quotation marks? I don't like my "food" to be quoted.

This Lobster Elegante is so proud of itself and so vain that it needs to keep preening in front of a mirror.

Fruited Ham Dinner. I'm just don't know if I want to know what heated bananas taste like. Color, odor, consistency. Especially with ham.

Vegetables perfectly diced, colorful, meatballs plump and round, and--OMG look at that color!

Oh what the heck. What Betty Crocker book would not be complete without the Curried Haddock in Polka Dot Ring? Who wants to be the asshole and ruin this thing? I'll take it one step further and ask who wants to actually eat this thing?

That is the busiest display of California Chipped Beef I have seen. And I have seen enough California Chpped Beef to know this. Okay, this s the only one ever. Do I really need to see another?

To be the person perfect enough to arrange two perfect platters of chicken. Olives arranged in the right spot and those pear shaped saltshakers.Chick in a uniform pattern.  Eh, maybe I won't envy that person. I should be envied since I don't have to do that! At least the rice looks like rice and not maggots.

This chili probably looks the same going in and out. Which side burns more is the question.

Fonduloha. Yay. This is in every book. It has over 2 cups of mayonnaise so I'm pretty sure I won't appreciate the tropic frutiness this wants to pretend to offer. What this has to do with a chafing dish, I'm lost too.

Looking at that cute little bird perched atop what could be a gooey warm pie really hidest the fact it's Steak and Kidney Pie. Who gets the first piece? Any takers?I bet you thought it was some 4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie type of thing. Blackbirds aren't filters.

This is a sad pizza even in the world of Betty Crocker. Sigh...

I have a table and ladle that looks exactly like this and whenever I make oriental food, I just push it out.What true and just woman of the Americana household doesn't?

New Twist Dish. New twist on what? Is this a new idea with twisty pasta making the twist? If one calls rotini with can pork luncheon meat (SPAM), cream of mushroom soup, catsup (not ketchup), topped with shredded cheese a new twist on something, I will give credit where its due. I never heard of this novel idea. Not even Hamburger Helper is made of this shitty list of ingredients! I'll take my hydrolyzed soy protein over this combo any day!

It's common knowledge that I lived in Italy for a few years. Bella Napoli in fact. I embraced myself as much as I could in the culture, enjoyed the food, but I NEVER ate this abomination and don't see anything in the recipe that is even remotely Italian. Noodles?

It takes someone special to arrange wieners in a fashion that they almost look like a star. Wienies are very versatile and can bent to look like a stop sign. 

Veal Di Napoli. This is probably the 5th time I've seen it in a Betty Crocker cookbook.

Cucumber Relish Mold, made with mixed vegetable jello and West Coast Cauliflower. It wouldn't be so bad except that mold is staring at me. Okay, I'd have to develop a liking for cream of shrimp soup, shrimp, peas, etc so maybe it is bad. I'll eat the parsley and lemon and stare into the cucumber relish mold for an hour or so.

The most normal depiction of salmon in any book.

My beloved sister put a link for stuffed peppers on her Facebook the other day. I'm sure they are good and perhaps they even sound good. However, the above picture is one of the reasons I won't cook them. That and I don't want everything to smell like cooked green peppers.

That fork is scary. It's not a regular serving fork and it's not quite a pitchfork. It's long enough that it needs both arms and some muscle, but short enough to embed itself in a cheek. It also looks heavy enough to render one unconscious.

Summer Salad Pie. Lemon gelatin, tomato sauce, spices, onion, etc. Served with Tuna Salad on top.Not the kind of pie I could imagine eating..

I probably don't need to know. It's supposed to be a drawing of how to detuhd (devein) a shrimp, but it kind of looks like a crazy act of fornication on a finger.

Well that concludes another crazy post!! It wasn't so bad. 

U.N.T