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Monday, July 16, 2012

Time is of essence..

For decades, cookbooks and celebrity "chefs" have been touting ways to save a few minutes and cook something of quality. It's a good idea in theory but has anyone really been able to whip together a 30 minute meal in 30 minutes or does it turn into an hour and a half because nobody human is THAT organized? I know I've tried and I use up every inch of counter space, open all of the cabinets, and more than enough bowls, pots, spoons, and there is splatter everywhere. Sometimes even on the ceiling and stays there until we move again. The mess is out of this world. Luckily for me, the rule of the house is if I cook, he cleans up and if he cooks, he cleans up. It's been that way for years. Who am I to change the rules? 

I looked through another Better Homes and Gardens book and the ole BS flags were a' flapping. These recipes are supposed to take 45 minutes. Unless time was measured different in the 1960s of course.

Better Homes and Gardens Meals in Minutes, 1963. There was an issue of keeping the tag on or removing it and taking off half the cover. I kept it and yes I spent 50 cents on it. Don't judge. I'm thrifty too.

Big Wheel Burger Skillet which if you can't tell is meatloaf cooked the quick way. Their words, not mine. My son told me to stop showing pictures of turds. Only he says "tuhds" so that makes me want to show him more and in nearly every book I have, there is at least one burger "tuhd" picture.

WHAT? My family would think I was out of my mind if I skipped steps and used canned foods and cut preparation corners. Do I want to feed them or give them botulism and salmonella? 45 minutes? Say it isn't so! That's preposterous!
I know people are budgeting and time is valuable but skip the horse cock and livers. I think I would go hypoglycemic before I ate either of these. My jaw is clenched in defiance already!
I don't know about any of you, but I usually keep a couple of cans of Welsh rabbit and canned lobster in my pantry for those days when I am really pressed for time. It's more of a hit than tuna noodle surprise.
This looks picturesque. It does. Green broccoli, sliced eggs, ripe tomatoes, skinny cup of coffee, bread cut in wedges. Why do I feel like something is not quite right? If I stare at it for 30 seconds will a zombie or scary ghost looking face jump out at me? I don't trust this. Not one bit.
A tomato aspic is a tomato aspic. There's nothing in this recipe that would include a B and a C.
I can say with all certainty that it would take me longer to get that cheese in a grid pattern than to form a patty and cook a hamburger. Eventually I would just give up and slap the square on the hamburger.
Enhanced interrogation for meat. Just spear that steak in its own blood. That sounds tasty and tinny. I think those stuffed tomatoes are the model stuffed tomatoes because I see them everywhere.
So pink. So foamy. So fast! So liquid jello blended in a blender with crushed ice until it foams.
If I cannot produce this in 45 minutes or less than why bother? I mean, can't anybody cook bacon, ribs, sausage, hot dogs, stuff tomatoes with some sort of stuffing, prepare and toss a salad and make dessert? Slackers!
I'll just finish this and say it looks like the other million ways chicken is prepared and probably tastes like it.
Sesame seed bunwiches and meatloaf high hats. These can be FROZEN individually and served as a snack! I'll stick with goldfish crackers.
My work for the day is done. I BEAT THE CLOCK like the book cover says. Not that I had any goal and it did take me longer than 45 minutes. (Slaps forehead)

Until next time!! 

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