LUCKILY for me, I just so happen to have this wonderful and classic Betty Crocker Parties for Children on hand! Should I have a party like the ones depicted in this book or no? Should I feel inadequate as a mother because I do not have a party like the ones depicted in this book? What kid would really want to come to a Betty Crocker inspired party from 1964? I'm guessing zero.
If I drank, these parties would be a perfect opportunity to do so.
|Betty Crocker Parties for Children, 1964|
|I'm looking at this guest and thinking HAYYYLLL NO! 10 guests for a 5-6 year old? 12 and 18 for a 7 and 8 year old? 10 and 15 giggling preteen girls? Shudder to think! If I went by that, I would have potentially 37 kids to entertain.|
|Oh how clever! Write the word "Party" backwards.|
|"These handwritten cards for the pow wow party and party train are a great idea," said no one ever.|
|Pizza, chips, cake, ice cream, juice boxes or soda. There is no need to go all out like this. Period dot com, end of story.|
|One might feel a stab of envy looking at this perfectly coiffed mother with her legs tucked under her while she shares creative little stories for these young minds. I served 12 years in the navy. My stories would get me arrested.|
|Pin the button on the happy pervie clown! Yay fun! Blindfold kids, turn them around in circles and give them a pointy object and hope they get it on the picture and not in someone's carotid artery.|
|It involves nothing because nobody in that age group is going to be interested. Now would be a good idea to 86 these lame games and serve some cake.|
|Musical chairs. Shit just got real.|
I do not finish this blog entry feeling like an insignificant mother who is depriving my children their birthday parties. If anything, I feel glad that I don't go through all of this mess. The more simple the party, the more the kid is going to remember it.
From now on, I better ask more questions about what goes on at these parties.
Betty Crocker, I am not finished with you yet!!! The world will see you for the evil incarnate you are!
Until next time!!